One needs something to believe in, something for which one
can have whole-hearted enthusiasm. One needs to feel that
one's life has meaning, that one is needed in this world.
--Hannah Senesh
If you were all alone in the universe with no one to talk
to, no one with which to share the beauty of the stars, to
laugh with, to touch, what would be your purpose in life?
It is other life, it is love, which gives your life meaning.
This is harmony. We must discover the joy of each other,
the joy of challenge, the joy of growth.
--Mitsugi Saotome
October 27, 2005
October 26, 2005
Hampster Wheel
I have a serious gym-related pet peeve.
If you are going to be on a machine at the gym, shut your fucking cell phone off. I'm serious. There may be nothing more annoying on the PLANET than a gym cell-phone talker. I'm on a treadmill running my ass off. My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my chest is burning and I'm hauling my ass, sweating like a pig and breathing like I'm... well, running my ass off. Sometimes I'm concerned that I'm even personally irritating others around me by BREATHING TOO LOUD. There are 20 other equally miserable - and equally SILENT - people surrounding me. None of us want to hear the tall, pretty, skinny blonde with her little beer gut strolling on the elliptical machine in her Tiffany jewelry not even breaking a sweat chit-chat with her BFF about their bar-hopping plans for the evening, and how Orlando Bloom is "oh my God, SOOO cute" and her vintage blazer is "oh my God, SOOO last spring". The endorphins and adrenaline coursing through my veins could, in fact, potentially cause me to think that strangling her with my own bare hands and drowning her in a pool of sweat might actually be fun. Never mind that I'm doing all of this running and am completely unsuccessful in getting away from the source of my agitation. This only manages to ADD to my annoyance.
So just shut it the hell off for your 20 minute "workout", okay? Thanks.
If you are going to be on a machine at the gym, shut your fucking cell phone off. I'm serious. There may be nothing more annoying on the PLANET than a gym cell-phone talker. I'm on a treadmill running my ass off. My feet hurt, my legs hurt, my chest is burning and I'm hauling my ass, sweating like a pig and breathing like I'm... well, running my ass off. Sometimes I'm concerned that I'm even personally irritating others around me by BREATHING TOO LOUD. There are 20 other equally miserable - and equally SILENT - people surrounding me. None of us want to hear the tall, pretty, skinny blonde with her little beer gut strolling on the elliptical machine in her Tiffany jewelry not even breaking a sweat chit-chat with her BFF about their bar-hopping plans for the evening, and how Orlando Bloom is "oh my God, SOOO cute" and her vintage blazer is "oh my God, SOOO last spring". The endorphins and adrenaline coursing through my veins could, in fact, potentially cause me to think that strangling her with my own bare hands and drowning her in a pool of sweat might actually be fun. Never mind that I'm doing all of this running and am completely unsuccessful in getting away from the source of my agitation. This only manages to ADD to my annoyance.
So just shut it the hell off for your 20 minute "workout", okay? Thanks.
October 24, 2005
October 21, 2005
QOTD 10/21/05
If there must be trouble let it be in my day, that my child
may have peace.
--Thomas Paine
may have peace.
--Thomas Paine
October 19, 2005
Pounding the Pavement
I decided yesterday that I wish there were a direct line from my brain to my blog while running. There's just so much... stuff... that goes on in there while I'm pounding through my neighborhood with Audioslave pulsing through my headphones. I go everywhere in my head while I'm out running, but when I come home to trap it all down into solid word form, it seems to disappear. Running has become such a catharsis... so much so that I wish that I could save just a little bit of what I get out of me. It would make for some good blogging, I think.
Time hasn't stopped for any troubles, heartaches, or any
other malfunctions of this world, so please don't tell me
it will stop for you.
--C.S. Lewis
Time hasn't stopped for any troubles, heartaches, or any
other malfunctions of this world, so please don't tell me
it will stop for you.
--C.S. Lewis
A Modern Fairy Tale
Once Upon A Time...
In a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat,
contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet,
we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night,
as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sautéed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:
I don't frick'n think so.
October 17, 2005
Discover...Nitrous Oxide
I have decided that there must be something in the water that Discover Card feeds its employees. Every single person I've ever spoken to that was affiliated with Discover has been frighteningly perky and chipper. Either they drug the crap out of the peons, or it's just a really really REALLY great place to work!
I'm putting money on the drugs.
I'm putting money on the drugs.
October 13, 2005
In Honor of Yom Kippur
Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views
beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that it is doing
God's service when it is violating all his laws.
--John Adams
beyond the comprehension of the weak; and that it is doing
God's service when it is violating all his laws.
--John Adams
October 12, 2005
Late Shift Blues
I work the 'late shift' on Wednesdays. This means that I come in at 9:30 instead of 8 and stay until 6 instead of 4:30. I don't mind the late shift. In fact, I kind of like it. Traffic isn't as bad (both ways), the morning goes by fast, and usually it gets very quiet after 4, which means I can be productive. The problem with the late shift is parking. As in, there never is any (especially when the weather sucks). Students and faculty snap up every available inch of space by 8:15. The lots are full, the streets are full, even the handicapped spots are full... today I spent 25 minutes driving around in circles to find a spot, each circle bringing me a block further from where I need to be.
When we were together, The Ex moved into a 1-bedroom apartment 3 blocks away from the office I work in now. Correction: I moved Ex into that apartment. This morning, I found myself on that street, in the rain, in front of that building, desperately hoping for a parking spot. What I saw instead was that the porch was empty of sports equipment, trash bags, lawn chairs, and there was a giant American flag fluttering from the front window. Ex clearly doesn't live there anymore.
This didn't make me sad or make me cry... but it did give me a very weird feeling. One day he's just no longer there. He no longer lives in an apartment that holds memories of us... in fact, he probably now lives with his new girlfriend [whom I fondly refer to as The Bride of Frankenstein] somewhere else. A year ago, I thought it would be me he'd move in with after the apartment on Ridgefield. It's like he's started a brand new life and been wiped off my radar... but I know he's still floating around the area. Who knows how long he's been gone from that place. Now, strangers live in an apartment that was practically my second home.
The way people's lives and paths cross and continue forward is so interesting... and in some ways, sad. It's been almost a year, and I think I can say that I know I'm going to be alright. I can't remember the last time I cried myself to sleep over him, or over a song that reminded me of him. I still get sad and miss the relationship, but I'm okay with it being over. I just wish sometimes that there could be a way to avoid amputating people from your life so unceremoniously. Or if so, they could be amputated from your heart as easily. Sitting in my car, in front of a stranger's apartment was a warped reminder of how nice it would be if things were that easy.
When we were together, The Ex moved into a 1-bedroom apartment 3 blocks away from the office I work in now. Correction: I moved Ex into that apartment. This morning, I found myself on that street, in the rain, in front of that building, desperately hoping for a parking spot. What I saw instead was that the porch was empty of sports equipment, trash bags, lawn chairs, and there was a giant American flag fluttering from the front window. Ex clearly doesn't live there anymore.
This didn't make me sad or make me cry... but it did give me a very weird feeling. One day he's just no longer there. He no longer lives in an apartment that holds memories of us... in fact, he probably now lives with his new girlfriend [whom I fondly refer to as The Bride of Frankenstein] somewhere else. A year ago, I thought it would be me he'd move in with after the apartment on Ridgefield. It's like he's started a brand new life and been wiped off my radar... but I know he's still floating around the area. Who knows how long he's been gone from that place. Now, strangers live in an apartment that was practically my second home.
The way people's lives and paths cross and continue forward is so interesting... and in some ways, sad. It's been almost a year, and I think I can say that I know I'm going to be alright. I can't remember the last time I cried myself to sleep over him, or over a song that reminded me of him. I still get sad and miss the relationship, but I'm okay with it being over. I just wish sometimes that there could be a way to avoid amputating people from your life so unceremoniously. Or if so, they could be amputated from your heart as easily. Sitting in my car, in front of a stranger's apartment was a warped reminder of how nice it would be if things were that easy.
October 10, 2005
Life... Or Something Like It
It's a dreary Monday morning - dark and gray. What's worse is that it's Columbus Day, and everyone in the world is sleeping in... except me. Granted, I don't really want to celebrate the takeover and eventual exploitation of an entire race of people, skewed by American history to appear noble instead of barbaric ... but it's still depressing to be one of the few at work. I even got a spot in the "good" parking lot this morning.
Wow, is this what my life has become? Ecstasy over a new work computer and switching desks, angling for a spot in the "good" parking lot, looking for conveniently sized photos of my loved ones to stare at while I get verbally abused for my $10 an hour every day? Making sure I have "sensible" shoes and my shirts are "work appropriate"? Looking forward to Friday Jean Day? It's like Office Space, only more pathetic.
Then again... was my life any more meaningful before? Getting drunk and having empty interaction with other college students, searching for the latest trend and hottest shoes, seeing amazing women create endless drama with boys who never really cared about them, watching The Bachelor every week? Practicing quadratic equations that I would never again use after the open-notebook open-textbook exam? Pretending to read deep and meaningful literature, fibbing my way out of late grades on assignments?
It's funny... my generation complains about feeling stifled when thrown into the workplace to work the 9-5 grind, as if our worths have been compromised and our intellects marginalized. As if that hadn't happened ALREADY... we blame"growing up" as the cause. I wonder, however, if the growing up is instead the force that peels the veil of self-illusion back, forcing us to come to the realization of our own lack of meaning.
Maybe I'll just go for a run.
Wow, is this what my life has become? Ecstasy over a new work computer and switching desks, angling for a spot in the "good" parking lot, looking for conveniently sized photos of my loved ones to stare at while I get verbally abused for my $10 an hour every day? Making sure I have "sensible" shoes and my shirts are "work appropriate"? Looking forward to Friday Jean Day? It's like Office Space, only more pathetic.
Then again... was my life any more meaningful before? Getting drunk and having empty interaction with other college students, searching for the latest trend and hottest shoes, seeing amazing women create endless drama with boys who never really cared about them, watching The Bachelor every week? Practicing quadratic equations that I would never again use after the open-notebook open-textbook exam? Pretending to read deep and meaningful literature, fibbing my way out of late grades on assignments?
It's funny... my generation complains about feeling stifled when thrown into the workplace to work the 9-5 grind, as if our worths have been compromised and our intellects marginalized. As if that hadn't happened ALREADY... we blame"growing up" as the cause. I wonder, however, if the growing up is instead the force that peels the veil of self-illusion back, forcing us to come to the realization of our own lack of meaning.
Maybe I'll just go for a run.
October 05, 2005
Pee Party
Why do female college students feel compelled to pee on every seat in every bathroom in the building I work in? Don't they know they're GIRLS??? Who DOES that?
The Quote Nerd
More than one good quote today:
The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his
life when he resigns momentarily from the herd and thinks
for himself.
--Archibald Macleish
There are men - now in power in this country - who do not
respect dissent, who cannot cope with turmoil, and who be-
lieve that the people of America are ready to support
repression as long as it is done with a quiet voice and a
business suit.
--John Lindsay, former Mayor of New York City
The difference between what we do and what we are
capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the
world's problems.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
The dissenter is every human being at those moments of his
life when he resigns momentarily from the herd and thinks
for himself.
--Archibald Macleish
There are men - now in power in this country - who do not
respect dissent, who cannot cope with turmoil, and who be-
lieve that the people of America are ready to support
repression as long as it is done with a quiet voice and a
business suit.
--John Lindsay, former Mayor of New York City
The difference between what we do and what we are
capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the
world's problems.
-- Mahatma Gandhi
October 04, 2005
Revelations
It hit me like a sack of bricks tonight -- the reason I adore Aiden on Sex and the City? He's an emotionally available copy of my ex-boyfriend.
Somebody kill me.
Somebody kill me.
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