Dear Friends,
It has become increasingly clear to me lately that we need to have a little discussion about religious holidays and proper celebratory etiquette. The majority of you are aware by now that I like to classify myself as a "non-practicing Jew". This means that I was raised in a Jewish household, have a Jewish heritage, have been forced to participate in Sunday School and Hebrew School, and have even been Bat-Mitzvah-ed. In terms of my personal religious beliefs, however, I'm more of a "practicing Agnostic" (if one could say that Agnostics actually "practice" anything other than the act of ambivalence).
I don't necessarily buy the whole concept of religion as a whole in ANY form. This, however, does NOT mean I am Christian. Non-practicing Jew does NOT equal "Christian by default". Just because I don't buy into my own religion doesn't mean I want your New Testament. If I did, you'd know it. Christmas for me is like celebrating John Lennon's birthday - a kind of famous guy was born, cool... but it has no application or personal significance to me. Wishing me a Happy Easter is the equivalent of extending your best wishes on the day Kurt Cobain died. A kind-of tortured pop culture icon died, but I was never that into Nirvana anyway so I don't really care. Such is my personal interpretation of Jesus.
Do you know what I do on these holidays? I rent movies and hang out with my cat, or maybe call Mom and joke about how we get the day off to do nothing, but at least we don't have to get stuck in traffic. I find it really, really ignorant when my Christian friends wish me a Merry Christmas or Happy Easter. I don't go around screaming "Mozel Tov!" at you guys on Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashonnah - do you even know what Purim IS? I keep it to myself, aware that you may not be actively observing MY holidays (or non-holidays, since I don't really observe them either). So I'd appreciate it if you keep your religious holidays to yourselves. I don't begrudge you your celebrations, nor do I run commentary on what I think of them... but I find it extremely small minded for those of you who know me well to assume that I spend your holidays reflecting on a religious custom I don't believe in. Just because I joke that I'm a "Bad Jew" doesn't mean I'm automatically Catholic or Protestant, Baptist or Methodist, defaulting to a religion I find even harder to swallow than the one I was environmentally conditioned to believe in.
I get that strangers automatically assume that everyone around them engages in similar holiday reflection, so most of the time I disregard the "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Easter!" from a grocery store cashier, pharmacist, or toll collector as an endearment of the season. But if you're someone who knows me well, or even ATTENDED my Bat Mitzvah... please spare me. Show just a little bit of sensitivity? How about you consider that my Easter present?
