Do I have an angry blog?
If so... do they make some kind of ointment for that?
"I want my vodka on the rocks and the 'rocks' to be made out of pills..."
March 30, 2005
March 24, 2005
Life and Art
Friend: u have to analyze and look i think everyone has arrows
Friend: it is a big picture thing
Me: yeah, true. My big picture is feeling a little Dada-ist
Me: or at least, abstract
Me: maybe more like a finger painting
Friend: splatter :-)
Me: maybe a Jackson Pollack
Me: or a Duchamp - y'know, with the urnal
Friend: it is a big picture thing
Me: yeah, true. My big picture is feeling a little Dada-ist
Me: or at least, abstract
Me: maybe more like a finger painting
Friend: splatter :-)
Me: maybe a Jackson Pollack
Me: or a Duchamp - y'know, with the urnal
March 23, 2005
Plunging Standards
It's a slow day at work today. Having said that... I decided to pass the time this morning by flipping through Yahoo Personal ads, mostly because it makes me feel better about myself. (This is harsh, but it's my damn blog, so I'm being honest. The 5 people who read me would know the truth anyway).
SoI compiled a list of about 16 out of 1100 or so of the men who were relatively human and had some concept of the grammar lessons they learned in school. I loathe poor grammar. I've considered making a grammar/punctuation/spelling test a prerequisite (or "GPS" as they called it at SU, before they stopped making literacy a requirement to get a college education because, apparently, it was too demanding) for conversing with me. Anyway, my co-worker and I have been weeding down through these 16 guys, and are having a grand old time doing so. Unfortunately, I've come to the painful realization that my standards may be sinking... rapidly. To illustrate this, I've included part of our conversation below.
ME: no oh Hyde Park guy?
ME: aside from being 33
ME: which would be 9 years older than me
HER: im reading his right now
ME: he's got a dog in a batman costume
ME: I find that endearing
ME: and all of his hair
ME: and teeth, I think
ME: wow, apparently my standards just became 'not homeless'
I think this might be the result of me really needing to get laid... otherwise, I'm SO screwed!
SoI compiled a list of about 16 out of 1100 or so of the men who were relatively human and had some concept of the grammar lessons they learned in school. I loathe poor grammar. I've considered making a grammar/punctuation/spelling test a prerequisite (or "GPS" as they called it at SU, before they stopped making literacy a requirement to get a college education because, apparently, it was too demanding) for conversing with me. Anyway, my co-worker and I have been weeding down through these 16 guys, and are having a grand old time doing so. Unfortunately, I've come to the painful realization that my standards may be sinking... rapidly. To illustrate this, I've included part of our conversation below.
ME: no oh Hyde Park guy?
ME: aside from being 33
ME: which would be 9 years older than me
HER: im reading his right now
ME: he's got a dog in a batman costume
ME: I find that endearing
ME: and all of his hair
ME: and teeth, I think
ME: wow, apparently my standards just became 'not homeless'
I think this might be the result of me really needing to get laid... otherwise, I'm SO screwed!
March 18, 2005
I Need A Crayon
Everyone else with a blog has cool pictures in it. Maybe I should find a cool picture to put in my blog. Any suggestions?
March 11, 2005
New Car Smell
So, I had this really stupid epiphany while listening to Alanis Morissette on they way to work yesterday...
Yes, I did just write that, and no, I don't mind waiting while you finish laughing and snorting coffee out of your nose...
...
...
Finished? Okay then.
Anyway, so I was listening to an ITunes compilation of Alanis' 6 or 7 decent songs off of something like 3 or 4 albums (complete with artist commentary), and it got me thinking. Jagged Little Pill was my soundtrack as an angst-ridden 16-year-old. I remember lying on my bed, over-identifying with this screaming, angry rocker chick the first time my heart was broken. (In hindsight it was only slightly bruised, but I didn't know that at the time). I can identify exact points in my life through music. Now, I'm not a particularly music-obsessed individual, but play me a song and I can tell you exactly where it puts me in my 'story'. Our Lady Peace Superman's Dead? Freshman year. Incubus Drive? Winter of my Sophomore year. Audioslave? September, 2005. You get the point.
So, yeah, the epiphany. Theoretically, as you grow up, you become wiser and more worldly... life becomes more layered and complex. We are trained to think of our lives and time as directional, going constantly forward. With that being said, it seems only logical that your soundtrack would do the same... considering that (for me, at least) the music is something you identify with at that exact moment in time. Yet here I am... rocking out to Alanis Morissette in my car, 8 years later. Granted, I'm rocking out in my brand-new, self-purchased car on my way to a full-time job to a much more placid, engaged, and earth-bound Alanis, but still. Does this mean that I've made no great strides? Is the idea of 'forward' merely an illusion? Does it mean that I've been running on a treadmill since 16? Is all the personal growth I like to think I've made obsolete? Or does it indicate that life is cyclical... that as far as you think you've gone from where you once were, you will inevitably find yourself back there at some point, with a few alterations. Concentric, repeating, slowly advancing rings instead of a projectile tragectory, hurtling through time.
All of this from Alanis and a cup of coffee. Then again, it could have just been that New Car Smell.
Yes, I did just write that, and no, I don't mind waiting while you finish laughing and snorting coffee out of your nose...
...
...
Finished? Okay then.
Anyway, so I was listening to an ITunes compilation of Alanis' 6 or 7 decent songs off of something like 3 or 4 albums (complete with artist commentary), and it got me thinking. Jagged Little Pill was my soundtrack as an angst-ridden 16-year-old. I remember lying on my bed, over-identifying with this screaming, angry rocker chick the first time my heart was broken. (In hindsight it was only slightly bruised, but I didn't know that at the time). I can identify exact points in my life through music. Now, I'm not a particularly music-obsessed individual, but play me a song and I can tell you exactly where it puts me in my 'story'. Our Lady Peace Superman's Dead? Freshman year. Incubus Drive? Winter of my Sophomore year. Audioslave? September, 2005. You get the point.
So, yeah, the epiphany. Theoretically, as you grow up, you become wiser and more worldly... life becomes more layered and complex. We are trained to think of our lives and time as directional, going constantly forward. With that being said, it seems only logical that your soundtrack would do the same... considering that (for me, at least) the music is something you identify with at that exact moment in time. Yet here I am... rocking out to Alanis Morissette in my car, 8 years later. Granted, I'm rocking out in my brand-new, self-purchased car on my way to a full-time job to a much more placid, engaged, and earth-bound Alanis, but still. Does this mean that I've made no great strides? Is the idea of 'forward' merely an illusion? Does it mean that I've been running on a treadmill since 16? Is all the personal growth I like to think I've made obsolete? Or does it indicate that life is cyclical... that as far as you think you've gone from where you once were, you will inevitably find yourself back there at some point, with a few alterations. Concentric, repeating, slowly advancing rings instead of a projectile tragectory, hurtling through time.
All of this from Alanis and a cup of coffee. Then again, it could have just been that New Car Smell.
March 09, 2005
Go Home We're Closed
Revelation: I'm not nearly as funny as
A) I like to think I am
and
B) Everyone else who has a blog.
There are much wittier blogs floating around out there. Why are you wasting your time here?
I do know this one lawyer joke...
A) I like to think I am
and
B) Everyone else who has a blog.
There are much wittier blogs floating around out there. Why are you wasting your time here?
I do know this one lawyer joke...
Application
Hi, my name is Becky, and today is March 9, 2005. I am hereby putting in a request for a week with no gut-wrenching, tragically sad news. I would greatly appreciate it if my application could be processed as soon as possible, and for it to be effective immediately. I am also requesting an optional extension to two weeks. I do understand that certain service fees will be applied. Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
March 07, 2005
Love Letters
I know, I'm bad. It's been a month and a half since my last confession...
Just kidding.
But seriously, my life has just been so full-to-bursting-at-the-seams lately that I haven't had time to write. Although, in all fairness, I do sit in front of a computer for 40 hours a week. (My my, am I always this wishy-washy?) Anyway... between getting called into the Pub every other day, the liquor promotions and working a full-time job, any attempt at juggling a social life has been quite an adventure of late. My down time has mostly been composed of sleeping, ironing, doing laundry, or cleaning the litterbox. Oh, and picking up my NEW CAR, which I'm absolutely in love with. I'm actually in love with it in a physical, emotional I'd-make-out-with-it-if-it-had-lips kind of way. It had better not cheat on me, like someone else I know.
I'm fully aware that I'm all over the place today, but bear with me. I read this really stupid interview on TV Guide online with Kerri Russell (aka: Felicity) last week, and the requisite, "are you dating anyone?" question was asked. (Can't they think of ANYTHING more interesting to ask her??) She responded by saying something to the effect of, "I'm just really in love with my girlfriends right now", which at the time, I felt was a perfectly stupid cop-out response. However, it got me thinking.
I AM in love with my girlfriends right now. There are no other people on the planet that I am so desperately infatuated with right now. My 4 or 5 closest girlfriends are utterly fascinating to me, and I hold them all in the highest regard. I absolutely can NOT believe the garbage that they've put up with from me in the last few months. I've been whiney, petulant, self-absorbed, miserable, depressing, needy and all-around horrendous. Never mind that every single one of them has had just as much, if not a boat-load more stuff to deal with. Ladies, this is a message - a love letter, if you will - to you all. I love you all sososo much. You are my rocks, and without you, I would have (for no real good reason) drowned.
Just kidding.
But seriously, my life has just been so full-to-bursting-at-the-seams lately that I haven't had time to write. Although, in all fairness, I do sit in front of a computer for 40 hours a week. (My my, am I always this wishy-washy?) Anyway... between getting called into the Pub every other day, the liquor promotions and working a full-time job, any attempt at juggling a social life has been quite an adventure of late. My down time has mostly been composed of sleeping, ironing, doing laundry, or cleaning the litterbox. Oh, and picking up my NEW CAR, which I'm absolutely in love with. I'm actually in love with it in a physical, emotional I'd-make-out-with-it-if-it-had-lips kind of way. It had better not cheat on me, like someone else I know.
I'm fully aware that I'm all over the place today, but bear with me. I read this really stupid interview on TV Guide online with Kerri Russell (aka: Felicity) last week, and the requisite, "are you dating anyone?" question was asked. (Can't they think of ANYTHING more interesting to ask her??) She responded by saying something to the effect of, "I'm just really in love with my girlfriends right now", which at the time, I felt was a perfectly stupid cop-out response. However, it got me thinking.
I AM in love with my girlfriends right now. There are no other people on the planet that I am so desperately infatuated with right now. My 4 or 5 closest girlfriends are utterly fascinating to me, and I hold them all in the highest regard. I absolutely can NOT believe the garbage that they've put up with from me in the last few months. I've been whiney, petulant, self-absorbed, miserable, depressing, needy and all-around horrendous. Never mind that every single one of them has had just as much, if not a boat-load more stuff to deal with. Ladies, this is a message - a love letter, if you will - to you all. I love you all sososo much. You are my rocks, and without you, I would have (for no real good reason) drowned.
January 24, 2005
Snow Day
Big bummer that a blizzard prevented me from kicking my own ass snowboarding this weekend. I was really looking forward to it, but... hey, life sucks sometimes. Spent the weekend holed up in the house, trying not to be Pathetic Sad Girl. I also started taking St. John's Wort yesterday... I've been told it's nature's attempt at Prozac. I probably need it.
Speaking of which - a friend of mine said something that was really freaking obnoxious the other day. I use the term 'friend' loosely, because I've pretty much had it with this particular individual... at any rate, we had dinner last week because she kept harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone. She tells me that I was sad when we spoke on the phone earlier, and it made her all depressed and then she was miserable for like, a day and a half. Gee, I'm awful freaking sorry that my life made you sad. Y'know what? Then don't call me. Stop bothering me. Stop using ME as your shoulder to cry on all the time. You're wasting my time. I'm done with people who are worthless.
Speaking of which - a friend of mine said something that was really freaking obnoxious the other day. I use the term 'friend' loosely, because I've pretty much had it with this particular individual... at any rate, we had dinner last week because she kept harassing me and wouldn't leave me alone. She tells me that I was sad when we spoke on the phone earlier, and it made her all depressed and then she was miserable for like, a day and a half. Gee, I'm awful freaking sorry that my life made you sad. Y'know what? Then don't call me. Stop bothering me. Stop using ME as your shoulder to cry on all the time. You're wasting my time. I'm done with people who are worthless.
January 20, 2005
More Coffee
Bored at work, bored at work, bored at work.
You know what I've discovered? Work is boring. All work. I was busy yesterday and Tuesday, but today I'm bored. Because work is, inherently, boring.
Anyway... I'm going snowboarding on Saturday. I've never been snowboarding in my life. Hell, I don't even really know how to ski. I think I'm going to suck at it HUGELY. But hey, live the ride.
You know what I've discovered? Work is boring. All work. I was busy yesterday and Tuesday, but today I'm bored. Because work is, inherently, boring.
Anyway... I'm going snowboarding on Saturday. I've never been snowboarding in my life. Hell, I don't even really know how to ski. I think I'm going to suck at it HUGELY. But hey, live the ride.
January 14, 2005
Life
Here's my new thing - I'm going to post quotes if they strike me for any particular reason at any particular moment.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
~Soren Kirkegaard
No shit, right?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
~Soren Kirkegaard
No shit, right?
Those Who Shall Inherit The Earth...
Sitting at my new job. It's 10 to 4, I leave at 4:30. I've spent the last two weeks helping students and parents and teachers and kids figure out how to pay for/graduate from/add/drop/change/audit/survive/understand their college classes. It's kind of fun... aside from the occaisional Sally Stupid, as I've begun calling them. Allow me to share with you a snippet of a conversation I had with a student yesterday. Keep in mind, this is an adult. An adult graduate student. An adult graduate student in the MBA program.
Sally: "What day do classes start?"
Me: "Classes start next Tuesday, which is the 18th."
Sally: "Isn't that a holiday?"
Me: "Well, Martin Luther King Day. That's why we are closed on Monday and don't start until Tuesday."
Sally: "Oh. But my class is on Wednesday."
Me: "Okay."
Sally: "So when would MY class start?"
Me: "Your class is on Wednesdays, and since the semester begins on Tuesday, it'll be the next day."
Sally: "Oh, okay. So my classes really start on the 20th."
Me: "No. Tuesday is the 18th, so Wednesday is the 19th."
Don't you wish you were me?
Meanwhile, I head off to job #2 an hour after I'm done. We'll see how long this 60-hours-a-week thing. At least it keeps my mind off of my jerk of an ex boyfriend, and the fact that he didn't even send an EMAIL on my birthday. Mr "I still really want to be a part of each other's lives. Can we still be friends?". Guess what I say to that??
Sally: "What day do classes start?"
Me: "Classes start next Tuesday, which is the 18th."
Sally: "Isn't that a holiday?"
Me: "Well, Martin Luther King Day. That's why we are closed on Monday and don't start until Tuesday."
Sally: "Oh. But my class is on Wednesday."
Me: "Okay."
Sally: "So when would MY class start?"
Me: "Your class is on Wednesdays, and since the semester begins on Tuesday, it'll be the next day."
Sally: "Oh, okay. So my classes really start on the 20th."
Me: "No. Tuesday is the 18th, so Wednesday is the 19th."
Don't you wish you were me?
Meanwhile, I head off to job #2 an hour after I'm done. We'll see how long this 60-hours-a-week thing. At least it keeps my mind off of my jerk of an ex boyfriend, and the fact that he didn't even send an EMAIL on my birthday. Mr "I still really want to be a part of each other's lives. Can we still be friends?". Guess what I say to that??
December 18, 2004
Psychotics
It's weird to know that people who know me actually read my blog. That they seem to be interested in what I have to say. Probably you guys are just bored, surfing the net with nothing to do. Maybe you're amused at my psychoses. Either way, it's appreciated. Considering I feel that I tend to talk everyone's ears off about the same old stuff all the time... I don't know. I'm rambling, per usual in my life. I know my comments lately have been pretty down... things haven't been easy to deal with. Regardless, I know I'm still one of the lucky ones... my heart just bleeds for those who aren't. It's hard when the people you care about so much are feeling so much pain that you can't fix... when you're pissed off and furious about things you can do nothing about, or at people who don't care about the effects of their actions. From now on, I'm going to work on being more positive. Maybe that's the best thing I can do - for myself, and everyone else.
December 16, 2004
December 13, 2004
Things I Hate About Everyone
Here's a list of things that I've decided I hate, in no particular order. I'm sure I will continue to add to it as time goes on.
Things I Hate.
- cell phones in movies
- incompetent doctors
- false hope
- cancer/AIDS/Lupus/various other diseases
- bad things happening to good people
- HR representatives
- power hungry, self-important assholes
- bad breath
- zits
- being a doormat
- no hot water in the shower
- cellulite
- blatant disregard for others
- BO
- the noise my car/phone/computer/tv/dvd player makes when it's broken
- victoria's secret models
- The "President"
- things done in the name of religion
- did I mention self-important assholes?
Things I Hate.
- cell phones in movies
- incompetent doctors
- false hope
- cancer/AIDS/Lupus/various other diseases
- bad things happening to good people
- HR representatives
- power hungry, self-important assholes
- bad breath
- zits
- being a doormat
- no hot water in the shower
- cellulite
- blatant disregard for others
- BO
- the noise my car/phone/computer/tv/dvd player makes when it's broken
- victoria's secret models
- The "President"
- things done in the name of religion
- did I mention self-important assholes?
December 10, 2004
Super Trooper
I blew off an interview today.
I'm kind of shocked at myself. This is a pretty atypical thing for me to do, in all of my well-trained glory. My only real excuse is that this last week has been pretty stressful, with no end in sight. After four trial-by-fire interviews already this week... Yesterday started with a (8 hour) drive to Cape Cod with a friend to pick up her new "puppy" (if you call a 3-year old pitbull that slobbers a puppy), followed by (in chronological order):
- a strained ankle after tripping on the sidewalk
- 4 hours dressed up like a pirate wench trotting around to promote for Captain Morgan (which is SO demeaning, but pays much better than my waitressing job)
- getting almost killed, then pulled over at midnight by a NYS trooper for "cutting him off" when he was driving a dark blue police car in the pouring rain WITHOUT HIS LIGHTS ON
- coming home to chase the kitten around the house while she attacked everything that moved until 2am.
I'm tired, and will be trekking off to NYC for the weekend... which means no rest in sight. So when I broke down in the car this morning on the way to an interview for a job that I have absolutely 0 interest in, with an individual who couldn't be bothered to give my his # so I could at least make up a good lie instead of standing him up, I said "fuck it" and came home. Not thrilled about heading south for the weekend, but considering that my best friend's husband starts chemo and radiation next week... after all that she's been through, if she wants to go shopping in NYC, we'll go shopping. So what if I don't get to sleep until... next Friday?
I'm kind of shocked at myself. This is a pretty atypical thing for me to do, in all of my well-trained glory. My only real excuse is that this last week has been pretty stressful, with no end in sight. After four trial-by-fire interviews already this week... Yesterday started with a (8 hour) drive to Cape Cod with a friend to pick up her new "puppy" (if you call a 3-year old pitbull that slobbers a puppy), followed by (in chronological order):
- a strained ankle after tripping on the sidewalk
- 4 hours dressed up like a pirate wench trotting around to promote for Captain Morgan (which is SO demeaning, but pays much better than my waitressing job)
- getting almost killed, then pulled over at midnight by a NYS trooper for "cutting him off" when he was driving a dark blue police car in the pouring rain WITHOUT HIS LIGHTS ON
- coming home to chase the kitten around the house while she attacked everything that moved until 2am.
I'm tired, and will be trekking off to NYC for the weekend... which means no rest in sight. So when I broke down in the car this morning on the way to an interview for a job that I have absolutely 0 interest in, with an individual who couldn't be bothered to give my his # so I could at least make up a good lie instead of standing him up, I said "fuck it" and came home. Not thrilled about heading south for the weekend, but considering that my best friend's husband starts chemo and radiation next week... after all that she's been through, if she wants to go shopping in NYC, we'll go shopping. So what if I don't get to sleep until... next Friday?
December 08, 2004
He's Just Not That Into You
I am not Tier 4. I am not Tier 3. And quite frankly, I don't really think I'm down with Tier 2. Don't waste the pretty, ladies!
December 02, 2004
Damned If We Do
How is it that some people get to live their lives with absolutely no consequences? They can lie, cheat, steal, get arrested, do drugs, and just generally be useless, but are never penalized for it? Then there are those, in contrast, who spend their entire lives living within the confines of those consequences? People like me, who pay their bills on time, are painfully honest and well behaved, and don't even turn on a 'no turn on red' sign, for fear of getting caught? Who do we fault for this? The parents? Society? The government, the education system? "God"? I'd really, really like to know. Because I've spent about %95 of my life trying really hard to be a good person. If I ever, by chance, fuck up, I get caught. And I get in trouble. Why is it that those of us who are good people seem to be penalized for it, when those that don't give a rat's ass are rewarded? It's a cruel, miserable fucking world we live in, where the good people are damned and the not-so-good are rewarded. I guess all we have to do is look at the political state of the country to see that in action though, right?
...
A job would be nice too.
And for the entire appointed/ "elected" staff in the White House to drop dead from some kind of infectious disease that only infects ultra-conservative, idiot republicans.
(Does this mean I'm a terrorist?)
And for the entire appointed/ "elected" staff in the White House to drop dead from some kind of infectious disease that only infects ultra-conservative, idiot republicans.
(Does this mean I'm a terrorist?)
Better Than... Chocolate?
I love my IPod. Who needs a boyfriend when you have an IPod? Listening to good music from a piece of technology that practically reads your mind is better than sex, hands down. All I want this year for the holidays is a big fat gift certificate to the ITunes music store. And peace on earth, a cure for cancer, the end of hunger and AIDS. And for the EX to be lonely and miserable. And maybe a cute toy for the kitten.
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