Pack the Van...

It's official - Daze End has moved. Same stuff, same blogger, different address.

www.becksbloglog.tumblr.com

Cheers!

Someone Call 911 When My Ears Start To Bleed

This headache has got to move its way on outta here. ASAP. Thank you.

Vitamin D

Today, the roomie* convinced me to get out of the house and go for a hike. The term 'hike' may have been oversold a bit - really, it was a walk/trudge through snow drifts up at the state park that we're fortunate enough to have 20 minutes away and still operational, no thanks to the former (thank goodness) hapless governor of New York State. It was a balmy 25 degrees today, but the sun was shining, which is all that matters this time of year.

I always struggle as January rolls into February and March. The holidays are over, the days are short, it's cold and gray outside, and summer seems too far away. My daily dose of necessary sunshine is few and far between, and i find it hard to escape the winter blues. But days like today make it worthwhile. This particular park is pretty much a zoo on any given weekend from Memorial Day to Labor Day. But in the dead of winter, it's quiet. The tracks of the brave locals (deer, rabbits, raccoon, whatever) crisscross through the landscape, and you can spend hours there, only to see maybe a few other intrepid humans. It seems as though we all move with more respect for the wilderness at this time of year, while it sleeps. As if it's more fragile, breakable, when really, what we're witnessing is the true resilience and hardiness of nature. (Trust me - today I saw some of the absolute fattest birds I've ever seen in my entire life. What are they eating up there????)

When I'm at this place, I always look out past the cliff's edge to the city that I call home, and I'm filled with a rush of affection, which always surprises me. If you told me fifteen years ago that I would be content to grow roots here, I would have laughed in your face. But now, today, I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.

*"roomie" is my quasi-affectionate term for my fiance, a word I'm not 100% comfortable with yet. Just wait until I have to start calling him my 'husband'. Yikes.

Remember Me?

It is I, the once prolific blogger. Though many of you (and myself as well) may have thought that I had abandoned my blog, I have returned after a 2 and a half year hiatus.

Why, you ask? Well I've been inspired, per usual, by my best friend, heterosexual life partner and 'sister from another mister', Casey. She's decided to blog her way through 2011, and I've decided to join her. Follow Casey's Year of Authenticity at her newly minted blog: (a)musings. I'll probably be referring to her often.

A lot has happened since my departure, but I'll attempt the abridged version. I changed jobs. Learned how to event plan and burn the midnight oil. Moved in with my boyfriend. Relocated (about 2 miles from the apartment). Taught myself how to garden. Got engaged to aforementioned boyfriend. Remodeled a bathroom. Changed jobs again. Began to plan a wedding. Turned 30.

Because of all of these things, my life is very different than it was in August of 2008. I'm going to parallel Casey here and try to post at least once a week about whatever inspires, irritates, or amuses me. It will, inevitably, be a lot about wedding stuff, and getting in shape for the wedding (the "getting in shape" I've been talking about for years). And gardening stuff. and 'what it all means' stuff. I may even pull on my good ol' running sneakers and finish a race or two. I hope you'll join me.

I shall return when the madness ends...

Hi Everyone!

I apologize for the returned lack-of-blogging, but I've started on a new venture that will keep my blogging priorities elsewhere for the next few months. To see what I've been up to, visit my other page at Raise, Run, Rock'N'Roll. Casey and I have signed up to participate in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training (TNT) and have committed to fundr aising for a great cause - all while training to do the P.F.Chang's Rock'N'Roll Marathon & 1/2 Marathon in Phoenix, AZ in January. Check out the blog for all the information you could ever want (and more) about the event, our journey, and even how to make a donation!

This post only has 6...

For those of you who will miss me while I'm lying on the beach, drinking up rum and sun next week, I thought I'd give you a bit of food for thought. As a once-upon-a-time movieaholic, I was reading some reviews today, as well as the eulogy tribute Christopher Nolan wrote for Heath Ledger as I await the release of The Dark Knight, and stumbled upon this: The record number of times the F-Bomb has been dropped in a film.

That record belongs to a documentary film entitled “Fuck” about the origin and use of the word. Surprisingly enough the film has a “fuck count” of 8.86 “fucks” per minute of the 93 minute film. The honor of second place is currently held by the British comedy “Nil by Mouth” from 1997. In third is the Robert DeNiro starrer from director Martin Scorsese “Casino” which has a “fuck count” of 398.Here’s the list of films with the amount of times “Fuck” can be counted in each:

Fuck (2005) - 824
Nil by Mouth (1997) - 428
Casino (1995) - 398
Alpha Dog (2007) - 367
Twin Town (1997) - 318
Summer of Sam (1999) - 315
Running Scared (2006) - 315
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (2002) - 311
Menace II Society (1993) - 300
Goodfellas (1990) - 300
Narc (2002) - 297
Harsh Times (2006) 296
Another Day in Paradise (1998) - 291
Made (2001) - 291
Dirty (2005) - 280
Jarhead (2005) - 278
Bully (2001) - 274
State Property 2 (2005) - 271
Reservoir Dogs (1992) - 269
Pulp Fiction (1994) - 265
The Big Lebowski (1998) - 260
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) - 248
Dead Presidents (1995) - 247
The Boondock Saints (1999) - 239
The Departed (2006) - 237
Empire (2002) - 236
True Romance (1993) - 234
State of Grace (1990) - 230
My Name Is Joe (1998) 230
Gridlock’d (1997) 227
The Devil’s Rejects (2005) - 224
Eddie Murphy Raw (1987) - 223
Suicide Kings (1997) - 222
Black and White (1999) - 215
American History X (1998) - 214
The Original Kings of Comedy (2000) 213
Layer Cake (2005) 210
Scarface (1983) 207
Spun (2002) 203
A Bronx Tale (1993) 200
Foolish (1999) 200
8 Mile (2002) 200
DysFunktional Family (2003) 200
I Got the Hook Up (1998) 197
Born on the Fourth of July (1989) - 196
Overnight (2003) - 191
Magnolia (1999) - 190
Monster (2003) - 187
Hustle and Flow (2005) - 186
Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005) 185
Formula 51 (2001) - 180
Flawless (1999) - 178
Superbad (2007) - 176
Poetic Justice (1993) - 175
Tigerland (2000) - 173
Bad Santa (2003) - 173
Donnie Brasco (1997) - 172
The Commitments (1991) - 169
Grindhouse (2007) - 169

[link to original web content here]

Teenage Wasteland

On my new route to work these days, I pass this little girl waiting for the bus. Some days, there's a large orange and white cat sunning itself next to her, or purring while she pets it. Judging by the time I drive by (approximately 8am), my guess is that she's in middle school... maybe 14 years old. She's a little bit of a bigger girl - certainly not "fat", but not rail-thin either - with thick, dark hair and glasses. Today when I drove by, she seemed sad. I'm not sure what gave me that impression... maybe it was the way she was carrying herself, or looking down at the ground. She reminded me of how excruciatingly painful that stage of life can be. I looked at her and thought of myself at that age, and I wondered if we ever know how we'll end up as adults. I was a painfully nerdy, awkward kid. Braces, glasses, I loved to read and play with animals... I don't know that I ever really thought I'd grow up to be the person I am today. I wonder if our parents see it in us - if we will one day see it in our own children... the glimmer of the potential human at the end of the long, awkward road.

I thought about the girl the whole way to work this morning. She seems tall for her age. My guess is that as she grows up, she'll lose her teenage awkwardness and become a pretty stunning young woman. If she survives middle school, that is. I wonder if these are the kinds of things our parents saw in us as we battled through our painful teenage years? More importantly, when she finally does become that person, what will she see when she looks in the mirror at 27, at 30? Will she see the woman she has become, or will she see herself at 14? I know there are many days when I still see the teenager, and often wonder how other people can possibly see anything else. Does that ever truly fade, I wonder?

Top 10 ...

Things That Piss Me Off In The Gym:

10) The old guy who talks incessantly at me from the other side of the room and insists on having the same conversation about how the world is going to hell every week.

9) Anyone who insists on watching Fox News.

8) Charlie, who sticks his head in the door to tell me I'm "wasting away to nothing" every single day.

7) The 'emergency stop' cord on the treadmill.

5) The super-skinny, gorgeous, friendly, 22 year old who runs 10 miles and doesn't break a sweat.

5) The 59 year old guy wearing jewelry who thinks he's a qualified personal trainer and tries to give me unsolicited advice.

4) Crappy satellite TV instead of normal cable.

3) The 59-year old guy's chain-smoking, whiny, fat, loud girlfriend/wife/sister who bitches (loudly) after every rep.

2) Your crappy music that I can hear from your headphones over all the machines AND CNN.

1) People staring at my chest and pretending like they're not - there are MIRRORS EVERWHERE, GUYS!