It has come to my attention that some people on the infamous MySpace community may misunderstand the purpose and/or intent behind the "bulletin post". I feel that it is time to clear this confusion up for good. Here are my personal guidelines:
1. No one is getting good fortune, free money, fabulous sex, free blowjobs, or 6 wishes from reposting anything I post, and I don't give a shit if you DO repost, so don't tell me about it.
2. Everything I post is purely for my own amusement's sake, and don't you forget it - I'm a bitch that way.
3. I'll probably offend you. I don't care, so deal with it.
4. News Flash: That's not my real birthday or hair color.
5. No, commenting on my rapier wit and superior intelligence is NOT going to get you a date, and my ego has become so over-inflated that I don't even want you to try.
6. When you use the wrong versions of words such as; too/two, your/you're, their/there/they're, its/it's and any other made up phrases such as 'u r hot', 'wat up wit dat', ect., expect to be ridiculed mercilessly. Just because it's [notice the proper usage] the Internet is NOT an excuse to be an illiterate imbecile.
7. Those inside jokes are not directed towards you if you're not laughing, so no witty attempt at a reply is necessary.
8. Do not believe for one moment that I am divulging any deep, dark, meaningful secrets in my little survey bulletins. I, unlike hapless 13 year olds, know the difference between an online community full of perverts and my shrink's office.
9. I have 117 "friends". Please do not assume my bulletin is intended only for you and reply thusly. If it were, I would have sent it in a private message with your name in big, bold letters at the top.
10. Friend trackers don't exist, and if they did... do you REALLY want to know what every single creepy toothless unibomber who checks your profile looks like and where he lives in relation to you (which he knows, because you've broadcasted it to the world)?
These are my rules. I hope they help.
May 23, 2006
May 18, 2006
QAD 5/18/06
If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to
do is keep on walking.
--Buddhist Saying
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you
just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will
come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.
--Anne Lamott, Author
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream
of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of
tomorrow.
--Robert H. Goddard
do is keep on walking.
--Buddhist Saying
Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you
just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will
come. You wait and watch and work: you don't give up.
--Anne Lamott, Author
It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream
of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of
tomorrow.
--Robert H. Goddard
May 06, 2006
For Richer or Poorer
Relationships with other people are complicated... and sometimes I think friendships become the stickiest of all of our connections. As we get older and those friendships deepen, as we grow and change, the lines blur and shift, become messy and interconnected. They stop being neat little entities that can be put into a box and left on a shelf, only to take out for convenience's sake. Family is almost easier in the straightforward blood connection. You can hate them or love them, it doesn't matter - you're stuck, so you might as well fight it out or not. There's a complete lack of autonomy in that relationship, for better or worse.
But friendships are different. People that we've known for 2 or 3 or 5 years are easy (relatively speaking) - we've changed, but not that much. You take each other at face value for the present, because that's all you know. The friends I've made in college or at work didn't know me at a skinny 5th grader with braces and glasses, her nose stuffed in a book with zero self-esteem. They may know of that middle schooler, but they never met her. They know the loud, jovial, wise-cracking curly-haired girl with the big boobs who stands straight and always has a witty comment at the ready. Hopefully, someday they will become deep, complicated friendships as well. But the ones that are the messiest are those that we've had for 10, 15, 20 years. You get into a fight, or get angry, and you realize that you're fighting about things that you've been fighting about for a decade... and you'll still be fighting about in the next decade. You can't hide what you were, your old insecurities or demons in the closet - they've got your number down. They've seen it all, they've heard it all, they lived it with you. Those are the friendships that, sometimes, we take for granted. Sometimes you forget that, while theroetically, you could end the friendship and walk away, in reality, it's not that simple. Thhose moments of rage are just that. By virture of the tentacles that we've twined into each other's lives and hearts, they have become your sisters and brothers. They are the ones who will be there when your life falls apart and your heart lies in broken pieces like shattered glass on the floor. They're the ones that will unfailingly show up anytime, anywhere, for anything. They're the ones you would do the same for without a moment's hesitation or thought to the contrary. And when we're reminded of how incredibly valuable those lifeline relationships are, we need to remember to value them more than anything else in the entire world.
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."
But friendships are different. People that we've known for 2 or 3 or 5 years are easy (relatively speaking) - we've changed, but not that much. You take each other at face value for the present, because that's all you know. The friends I've made in college or at work didn't know me at a skinny 5th grader with braces and glasses, her nose stuffed in a book with zero self-esteem. They may know of that middle schooler, but they never met her. They know the loud, jovial, wise-cracking curly-haired girl with the big boobs who stands straight and always has a witty comment at the ready. Hopefully, someday they will become deep, complicated friendships as well. But the ones that are the messiest are those that we've had for 10, 15, 20 years. You get into a fight, or get angry, and you realize that you're fighting about things that you've been fighting about for a decade... and you'll still be fighting about in the next decade. You can't hide what you were, your old insecurities or demons in the closet - they've got your number down. They've seen it all, they've heard it all, they lived it with you. Those are the friendships that, sometimes, we take for granted. Sometimes you forget that, while theroetically, you could end the friendship and walk away, in reality, it's not that simple. Thhose moments of rage are just that. By virture of the tentacles that we've twined into each other's lives and hearts, they have become your sisters and brothers. They are the ones who will be there when your life falls apart and your heart lies in broken pieces like shattered glass on the floor. They're the ones that will unfailingly show up anytime, anywhere, for anything. They're the ones you would do the same for without a moment's hesitation or thought to the contrary. And when we're reminded of how incredibly valuable those lifeline relationships are, we need to remember to value them more than anything else in the entire world.
"In prosperity our friends know us; in adversity we know our friends."
May 01, 2006
Like Steve McQueen...
We got rockstars in the Whitehouse
All our popstars look like porn
All my heroes hit the highway
They don't hang out here no more
You can call me anytime
You can page me all night long
But you won't catch this freebird
I'll already be long gone
Like Steve McQueen
All we need's a fast machine
And we're gonna make it all right...
~Sheryl Crow
April 20, 2006
Manolo What?
I've recently come to the realization that I need to just give up on eternal love and happiness... what I really need to do is marry some rich desperate guy and change the damn locks! Seriously. Then I can be left alone with my cat and spend as much money as I see fit. When I'm bored at work (which is often this time of year), I shop online. I go home at night, look at the distaster area that is my bedroom and think, "No human on earth needs this much clothing." Then, the next morning, I stand in front of my closet and think, "Oh my God, I have NOTHING TO WEAR!!". In the last 24 hours, I have purchased 3 pairs of shoes. Online. And by shoes I mean sandals. None of them were vital or necessary... but very cute. And on SALE!
See? I need help. Thank goodness for the fact that I have to go to class in about 10 minutes... who knows how much money I could theoretically spend in the 6 hours I'll be trapped in a stuffy classroom instead...
See? I need help. Thank goodness for the fact that I have to go to class in about 10 minutes... who knows how much money I could theoretically spend in the 6 hours I'll be trapped in a stuffy classroom instead...
April 19, 2006
Words to Live By
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
~Maya Angelou
April 13, 2006
QAD 4/13/06
I'm tired.
Most Americans do not yet realize that a war is being waged
- not against Iraq but against each of us. It is not the
Republican Party that is charge in this administration but
a small cadre who seized executive branch power and
converted it to their own uses. Most Republicans are
experiencing a deer-in-the-headlights moment right now.
Their Party has been hijacked, their president has been
hijacked, and they do not know what to do. I remain a
registered Republican working for an effective coalition.
--Melinda Pillsbury-Foster
Most Americans do not yet realize that a war is being waged
- not against Iraq but against each of us. It is not the
Republican Party that is charge in this administration but
a small cadre who seized executive branch power and
converted it to their own uses. Most Republicans are
experiencing a deer-in-the-headlights moment right now.
Their Party has been hijacked, their president has been
hijacked, and they do not know what to do. I remain a
registered Republican working for an effective coalition.
--Melinda Pillsbury-Foster
April 10, 2006
Appropriate
Appropriately enough...
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from
within. It is not what we see and touch or that which
others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which
we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and
then for ourselves.
--Helen Keller
Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from
within. It is not what we see and touch or that which
others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which
we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and
then for ourselves.
--Helen Keller
April 09, 2006
It's Like Fishing
This is how Dictionary.com defines the terms 'happy' and 'happiness':
hap·py
adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est
It's been the topic of some discussion in my life this weekend. I find this definition to be rather... vague and uninspiring. Ultimately, happiness is something that every human is striving for. We're all constantly looking for that one thing or person or place that will make us 'happy'. Quite frequently, once we find it, we quickly start looking for something else that will make us 'happier'.
My question is what is it exactly, and when you pin the concept down, does 'happiness' really even exist as a tangible something to be obtained? I am more of the mind that happiness is a process, a journey, and an exploration. Would it exist without the search? I tend to feel that it's more of a concept that we as humans have created to help get us through the interminable days and weeks and years of our rather monotonous existence. It's an idea, like God, religion, and the meaning of life. Created by us at the beginning of time to give us a reason to get up in the morning and continue putting one foot in front of the other. When people ask me if I'm 'happy', I say yes. My life is full of wonderful people and things and places that offer me beauty and support every minute of every day. Yet there are those who would argue that I'm not happy - that I'm missing something that would make me 'truly happy'.
My argument is... is anyone ever truly happy? Aren't we all always waiting on the next best thing? In the words of Matchbox 20 - is happiness a mat that sits on our doorway? Or is it more like Our Lady Peace - happiness is not a fish you can catch...?
hap·py
adj. hap·pi·er, hap·pi·est
- Characterized by good luck; fortunate.
- Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.
- Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.
- Cheerful; willing: happy to help.
- Characterized by a spontaneous or obsessive inclination to use something. Often used in combination: trigger-happy.
- Enthusiastic about or involved with to a disproportionate degree. Often used in combination: money-happy; clothes-happy.
It's been the topic of some discussion in my life this weekend. I find this definition to be rather... vague and uninspiring. Ultimately, happiness is something that every human is striving for. We're all constantly looking for that one thing or person or place that will make us 'happy'. Quite frequently, once we find it, we quickly start looking for something else that will make us 'happier'.
My question is what is it exactly, and when you pin the concept down, does 'happiness' really even exist as a tangible something to be obtained? I am more of the mind that happiness is a process, a journey, and an exploration. Would it exist without the search? I tend to feel that it's more of a concept that we as humans have created to help get us through the interminable days and weeks and years of our rather monotonous existence. It's an idea, like God, religion, and the meaning of life. Created by us at the beginning of time to give us a reason to get up in the morning and continue putting one foot in front of the other. When people ask me if I'm 'happy', I say yes. My life is full of wonderful people and things and places that offer me beauty and support every minute of every day. Yet there are those who would argue that I'm not happy - that I'm missing something that would make me 'truly happy'.
My argument is... is anyone ever truly happy? Aren't we all always waiting on the next best thing? In the words of Matchbox 20 - is happiness a mat that sits on our doorway? Or is it more like Our Lady Peace - happiness is not a fish you can catch...?
April 07, 2006
Have You Seen My Stapler?
Today is inspired by a text-conversation I've been having with an equally bored, mind-numbed friend. Today is officially "Office Space Quote Day"!
Bob Porter: We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
Milton Waddams: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
Milton Waddams: Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
Please add your favorites at your leisure...
Bob Porter: We'll be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
Milton Waddams: I was told that I could listen to the radio at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven, I told bill that if Sandra is going to listen to her headphones while she's filing then I should be able to listen to the radio while I'm collating so I don't see why I should have to turn down the radio because I enjoy listening at a reasonable volume from nine to eleven.
Milton Waddams: Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I still have not received my paycheck and they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it.
Bob Porter: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob.
Please add your favorites at your leisure...
April 06, 2006
Top Ten at 2:10
I've decided that I am a big fan of top ten lists. Today, I will be doing this Letterman-Style, counting down to the big #1. Our topic will be "You Have No Chance in Hell of Dating Me Because..."
10. You spend hours waxing and detailing your Ford truck
9. You use the phrase "I seen" in regular conversation and/or have a nickname similar to "Frank The Tank"
8. You are the guy handing me coffee at Dunkin Donuts
7. You are not old enough to buy me a drink
6. You are old enough to own a AARP card
5. You are missing teeth and/or have gold replacements
4. You own a Hummer or Hummer-sized vehicle
3. You previously have dated one of my good friends
2. You previous have dated ME
1. You are a Republican and/or voted for George Bush... EVER
10. You spend hours waxing and detailing your Ford truck
9. You use the phrase "I seen" in regular conversation and/or have a nickname similar to "Frank The Tank"
8. You are the guy handing me coffee at Dunkin Donuts
7. You are not old enough to buy me a drink
6. You are old enough to own a AARP card
5. You are missing teeth and/or have gold replacements
4. You own a Hummer or Hummer-sized vehicle
3. You previously have dated one of my good friends
2. You previous have dated ME
1. You are a Republican and/or voted for George Bush... EVER
Sounds Like A Bad Joke...
Q: How many grown men does it take to plug in a printer?
A: In my office, apparently 3. 1 to plug and 2 to scratch their balls and grunt.
A: In my office, apparently 3. 1 to plug and 2 to scratch their balls and grunt.
March 29, 2006
People Shouldn't Breed Because...
If my kid (or your kid) ever pulls this shit on my watch, I'm totally leaving his ass in there....
Stupid Kid Gets Stuck In Toy Machine
Stupid Kid Gets Stuck In Toy Machine
Over My Head (Cable Car)
I'm really feeling this song this week. Not even sure I know where they're going, but I like it....
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
~The Frey
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves
Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
~The Frey
March 28, 2006
Bleed... Whatever Color GMU Is...
I am officially rooting for the underdog (what else is new??) in the Final Four tournament. Go George Mason University!!!
[Yota, this is mostly because of you. Mostly.]
[Yota, this is mostly because of you. Mostly.]
March 22, 2006
And One More Thing...
Comment: Creepy Dunkin' Donuts man hit on me again today. Apparently he thinks a cute nickname for me is "Smiley". I don't think it's cute. Hopefully my response of, "I will be, once I have my fucking coffee," was appropriately off-putting (but I doubt it). And yes, I know I should not have gone to that particular DD's, but I really needed some damn caffeine, and the next one was way too far away. Casey is now writing a song about me entitled "Queen of the Totally Inappropriate Suitors". FABULOUS. That is all.
Deep Thoughts
Question: Why does my cat like to chew on cacti? (Not just the cute fuzzy ones, but the scary, mean, pointy ones.)
March 21, 2006
Good Night and Good Luck
Americans are too broadly under-informed to digest nuggets
of information that seem to contradict what they know of
the world... Instead, news channels prefer to feed
Americans a constant stream of simplified information,
all of which fits what they already know. That way they
don't have to devote more air time or newsprint space
to explanations or further investigations.
-- Tom Fenton, former CBS News Foreign Correspondent
of information that seem to contradict what they know of
the world... Instead, news channels prefer to feed
Americans a constant stream of simplified information,
all of which fits what they already know. That way they
don't have to devote more air time or newsprint space
to explanations or further investigations.
-- Tom Fenton, former CBS News Foreign Correspondent
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