Hi Everyone!
I apologize for the returned lack-of-blogging, but I've started on a new venture that will keep my blogging priorities elsewhere for the next few months. To see what I've been up to, visit my other page at Raise, Run, Rock'N'Roll. Casey and I have signed up to participate in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training (TNT) and have committed to fundr aising for a great cause - all while training to do the P.F.Chang's Rock'N'Roll Marathon & 1/2 Marathon in Phoenix, AZ in January. Check out the blog for all the information you could ever want (and more) about the event, our journey, and even how to make a donation!
August 26, 2008
July 11, 2008
This post only has 6...
For those of you who will miss me while I'm lying on the beach, drinking up rum and sun next week, I thought I'd give you a bit of food for thought. As a once-upon-a-time movieaholic, I was reading some reviews today, as well as the eulogy tribute Christopher Nolan wrote for Heath Ledger as I await the release of The Dark Knight, and stumbled upon this: The record number of times the F-Bomb has been dropped in a film.
That record belongs to a documentary film entitled “Fuck” about the origin and use of the word. Surprisingly enough the film has a “fuck count” of 8.86 “fucks” per minute of the 93 minute film. The honor of second place is currently held by the British comedy “Nil by Mouth” from 1997. In third is the Robert DeNiro starrer from director Martin Scorsese “Casino” which has a “fuck count” of 398.Here’s the list of films with the amount of times “Fuck” can be counted in each:
Fuck (2005) - 824
Nil by Mouth (1997) - 428
Casino (1995) - 398
Alpha Dog (2007) - 367
Twin Town (1997) - 318
Summer of Sam (1999) - 315
Running Scared (2006) - 315
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (2002) - 311
Menace II Society (1993) - 300
Goodfellas (1990) - 300
Narc (2002) - 297
Harsh Times (2006) 296
Another Day in Paradise (1998) - 291
Made (2001) - 291
Dirty (2005) - 280
Jarhead (2005) - 278
Bully (2001) - 274
State Property 2 (2005) - 271
Reservoir Dogs (1992) - 269
Pulp Fiction (1994) - 265
The Big Lebowski (1998) - 260
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) - 248
Dead Presidents (1995) - 247
The Boondock Saints (1999) - 239
The Departed (2006) - 237
Empire (2002) - 236
True Romance (1993) - 234
State of Grace (1990) - 230
My Name Is Joe (1998) 230
Gridlock’d (1997) 227
The Devil’s Rejects (2005) - 224
Eddie Murphy Raw (1987) - 223
Suicide Kings (1997) - 222
Black and White (1999) - 215
American History X (1998) - 214
The Original Kings of Comedy (2000) 213
Layer Cake (2005) 210
Scarface (1983) 207
Spun (2002) 203
A Bronx Tale (1993) 200
Foolish (1999) 200
8 Mile (2002) 200
DysFunktional Family (2003) 200
I Got the Hook Up (1998) 197
Born on the Fourth of July (1989) - 196
Overnight (2003) - 191
Magnolia (1999) - 190
Monster (2003) - 187
Hustle and Flow (2005) - 186
Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005) 185
Formula 51 (2001) - 180
Flawless (1999) - 178
Superbad (2007) - 176
Poetic Justice (1993) - 175
Tigerland (2000) - 173
Bad Santa (2003) - 173
Donnie Brasco (1997) - 172
The Commitments (1991) - 169
Grindhouse (2007) - 169
Nil by Mouth (1997) - 428
Casino (1995) - 398
Alpha Dog (2007) - 367
Twin Town (1997) - 318
Summer of Sam (1999) - 315
Running Scared (2006) - 315
Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat (2002) - 311
Menace II Society (1993) - 300
Goodfellas (1990) - 300
Narc (2002) - 297
Harsh Times (2006) 296
Another Day in Paradise (1998) - 291
Made (2001) - 291
Dirty (2005) - 280
Jarhead (2005) - 278
Bully (2001) - 274
State Property 2 (2005) - 271
Reservoir Dogs (1992) - 269
Pulp Fiction (1994) - 265
The Big Lebowski (1998) - 260
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) - 248
Dead Presidents (1995) - 247
The Boondock Saints (1999) - 239
The Departed (2006) - 237
Empire (2002) - 236
True Romance (1993) - 234
State of Grace (1990) - 230
My Name Is Joe (1998) 230
Gridlock’d (1997) 227
The Devil’s Rejects (2005) - 224
Eddie Murphy Raw (1987) - 223
Suicide Kings (1997) - 222
Black and White (1999) - 215
American History X (1998) - 214
The Original Kings of Comedy (2000) 213
Layer Cake (2005) 210
Scarface (1983) 207
Spun (2002) 203
A Bronx Tale (1993) 200
Foolish (1999) 200
8 Mile (2002) 200
DysFunktional Family (2003) 200
I Got the Hook Up (1998) 197
Born on the Fourth of July (1989) - 196
Overnight (2003) - 191
Magnolia (1999) - 190
Monster (2003) - 187
Hustle and Flow (2005) - 186
Get Rich or Die Tryin’ (2005) 185
Formula 51 (2001) - 180
Flawless (1999) - 178
Superbad (2007) - 176
Poetic Justice (1993) - 175
Tigerland (2000) - 173
Bad Santa (2003) - 173
Donnie Brasco (1997) - 172
The Commitments (1991) - 169
Grindhouse (2007) - 169
June 25, 2008
Teenage Wasteland
On my new route to work these days, I pass this little girl waiting for the bus. Some days, there's a large orange and white cat sunning itself next to her, or purring while she pets it. Judging by the time I drive by (approximately 8am), my guess is that she's in middle school... maybe 14 years old. She's a little bit of a bigger girl - certainly not "fat", but not rail-thin either - with thick, dark hair and glasses. Today when I drove by, she seemed sad. I'm not sure what gave me that impression... maybe it was the way she was carrying herself, or looking down at the ground. She reminded me of how excruciatingly painful that stage of life can be. I looked at her and thought of myself at that age, and I wondered if we ever know how we'll end up as adults. I was a painfully nerdy, awkward kid. Braces, glasses, I loved to read and play with animals... I don't know that I ever really thought I'd grow up to be the person I am today. I wonder if our parents see it in us - if we will one day see it in our own children... the glimmer of the potential human at the end of the long, awkward road.
I thought about the girl the whole way to work this morning. She seems tall for her age. My guess is that as she grows up, she'll lose her teenage awkwardness and become a pretty stunning young woman. If she survives middle school, that is. I wonder if these are the kinds of things our parents saw in us as we battled through our painful teenage years? More importantly, when she finally does become that person, what will she see when she looks in the mirror at 27, at 30? Will she see the woman she has become, or will she see herself at 14? I know there are many days when I still see the teenager, and often wonder how other people can possibly see anything else. Does that ever truly fade, I wonder?
I thought about the girl the whole way to work this morning. She seems tall for her age. My guess is that as she grows up, she'll lose her teenage awkwardness and become a pretty stunning young woman. If she survives middle school, that is. I wonder if these are the kinds of things our parents saw in us as we battled through our painful teenage years? More importantly, when she finally does become that person, what will she see when she looks in the mirror at 27, at 30? Will she see the woman she has become, or will she see herself at 14? I know there are many days when I still see the teenager, and often wonder how other people can possibly see anything else. Does that ever truly fade, I wonder?
Top 10 ...
Things That Piss Me Off In The Gym:
10) The old guy who talks incessantly at me from the other side of the room and insists on having the same conversation about how the world is going to hell every week.
9) Anyone who insists on watching Fox News.
8) Charlie, who sticks his head in the door to tell me I'm "wasting away to nothing" every single day.
7) The 'emergency stop' cord on the treadmill.
5) The super-skinny, gorgeous, friendly, 22 year old who runs 10 miles and doesn't break a sweat.
5) The 59 year old guy wearing jewelry who thinks he's a qualified personal trainer and tries to give me unsolicited advice.
4) Crappy satellite TV instead of normal cable.
3) The 59-year old guy's chain-smoking, whiny, fat, loud girlfriend/wife/sister who bitches (loudly) after every rep.
2) Your crappy music that I can hear from your headphones over all the machines AND CNN.
1) People staring at my chest and pretending like they're not - there are MIRRORS EVERWHERE, GUYS!
10) The old guy who talks incessantly at me from the other side of the room and insists on having the same conversation about how the world is going to hell every week.
9) Anyone who insists on watching Fox News.
8) Charlie, who sticks his head in the door to tell me I'm "wasting away to nothing" every single day.
7) The 'emergency stop' cord on the treadmill.
5) The super-skinny, gorgeous, friendly, 22 year old who runs 10 miles and doesn't break a sweat.
5) The 59 year old guy wearing jewelry who thinks he's a qualified personal trainer and tries to give me unsolicited advice.
4) Crappy satellite TV instead of normal cable.
3) The 59-year old guy's chain-smoking, whiny, fat, loud girlfriend/wife/sister who bitches (loudly) after every rep.
2) Your crappy music that I can hear from your headphones over all the machines AND CNN.
1) People staring at my chest and pretending like they're not - there are MIRRORS EVERWHERE, GUYS!
June 20, 2008
March 25, 2008
March 11, 2008
My goodness, my Guiness...
Ladies and gentlemen, friends and... everyone else... I present you with an ode to the summer before us and, by extension, our favorite pass time:
Of course, after all of this fun, you might need to check out the following:
Now, if only they could do "32 Things to Do With Captain Morgan", I'd be in heaven. Bottoms up, everyone!
Of course, after all of this fun, you might need to check out the following:
Now, if only they could do "32 Things to Do With Captain Morgan", I'd be in heaven. Bottoms up, everyone!
Jerks of the Internet
An article I stumbled upon on MSN today - I found it particularly relevant of late. This is the first paragraph of the article:
One expert says the anonymity of the Web makes everyone behave as if they were in Palm Beach in April. "Think about spring break, when people are feeling anonymous and acting in ways they wouldn't in their hometown, where they run into their neighbor," says Nicole Ellison, assistant professor of telecommunications, information studies and media at Michigan University. "People are less inhibited, and they then will engage in things they would want to do all the time but wouldn't normally because it would be frowned upon in their social circles."
We've all run into obnoxious people on the Internet. But these are the kinds of idiots who make you feel like logging off permanently.
Scammers, stalkers, online antagonists ready to pick a fight, folks who are just plain mean -- what is it about the Web that turns people into jerks?
One expert says the anonymity of the Web makes everyone behave as if they were in Palm Beach in April. "Think about spring break, when people are feeling anonymous and acting in ways they wouldn't in their hometown, where they run into their neighbor," says Nicole Ellison, assistant professor of telecommunications, information studies and media at Michigan University. "People are less inhibited, and they then will engage in things they would want to do all the time but wouldn't normally because it would be frowned upon in their social circles."
A New York University study found that subjects were more likely to express their true selves on the Net rather than in face-to-face interaction. If that's the case, the stories we've collected here may make you despair for the state of humanity. Meet just a few of the Web's aggravating trolls and irritating idiots.
March 10, 2008
Glass houses are rarely bulletproof
Could someone please explain to me how an elected official who has founded his public persona on fighting corruption (and, ironically, busting prostitution rings in NYC) gets caught hiring a prostitute while in office and ALREADY under scrutiny?! [Never mind it was the day before Valentine's Day - try keeping it in your pants and renting some porn, buddy. Maybe send your gorgeous wife some flowers.] Seriously? Seriously. The guy's got a beautiful wife and three daughters, and he goes and does this? He's not some George W. Bush dipshit halfwit in need of a personal assistant to remind him to zip his fly - Spitzer has been gunning for the White House for quite some time, he's smart, and he's ruthless. This isn't something that was hiding in his closet either - something that happened 20 years ago that could be brushed off. It happened a month ago! Yeah, he's had a rough year, but for a guy who knows the processes, know what a federal investigation looks like, and knows what goes on in politics, wouldn't you think this could be the absolute dumbest thing he could do? As far as I'm concerned, there's only one possible explanation: extreme mental illness. Wait, there's one more: he actually was tired of being governor, and decided he'd rather resign in disgrace to become a full time stay-at-home dad.
March 09, 2008
Life's little ironies...
I came to a very important realization today:
Iced coffee is the most colossal rip-off on the planet. Think about it - they charge you almost a dollar more for HALF as much coffee. Basically, they're charging you more for... ICE. That, my friends, is bullshit.
Iced coffee is the most colossal rip-off on the planet. Think about it - they charge you almost a dollar more for HALF as much coffee. Basically, they're charging you more for... ICE. That, my friends, is bullshit.
March 03, 2008
Maybe they're better with lightbulbs...
Question: How many dumb, little blond 22-year olds does it take to give you a box with your name clearly marked on the front in black permanent marker and not the one marked "Board of Associates Supplies"?
Answer: Apparently more than 5.
Answer: Apparently more than 5.
February 29, 2008
This is a long one, folks...
Yesterday was faculty-advisor meeting day. I'll be finishing my Master's degree in May (thank GOD!), assuming I survive my internship and comprehensive exam, which means it's time to start thinking about The Next Step. Those are always the discussions that are pretty much guaranteed to give me anxiety. It means it's time to start thinking about where and what the next job will be, and most importantly, The Doctorate Decision (or TDD, as I've decided to nickname it). My advisor and I talked for a solid hour about whether or not the PhD would be the way to go. Of course, she thinks so. Any academic will tell you to go for it - after all, it's the one thing they've devoted their lives to. Not to encourage another 4 years of indentured servitude to academia would be a crime for those already a part of the clandestine few. Plus, if I want to move up in Higher Ed, it's gotta happen.
I know I'm good for it. It's not the work that intimidates me - academics have always come pretty easily to me. It's just the combination of the other issues that concern me. First off, it's a major commitment to several more years as a student, which I find a bit wearing. Second, finding a topic I care enough about to write an entire thesis on would be a challenge. Number three, however, is the big one. Often times, lately, I wonder if there's any point to the field of Higher Education and all of the work that we do as administrators. I've spent hours upon hours of the last 2 years of my life learning to be culturally competent, how to counsel and communicate effectively with students to teach them to, in turn, become culturally sensitive and competent people. But the more I interact with the average college student of 2008, the less I think we have an impact.
Today's college students are different than those I graduated with 5 years ago. The Millenial generation has given way to another breed of student that I'm not sure I can even comprehend, let alone foster growth in. The children of the late-cycle Baby Boomers are self-involved, self-important, and have zero social skills. Many of them don't understand the concepts of work ethic or compassion, respect or value. One might argue that, because everything they could possibly need is in their dorm rooms (fridge, plasma tv, high speed computer, cell phone, instant messenger, library interface) or can be delivered (pizza, laundry, and even online classes) they don't ever have to interact with another human being live-action. They view everything as negotiable. Americans like to pretend that college is about "getting a good education", but really, it's about "getting a good socialization". Teens might pick a school based on academics, but what they actually learn is how to be a productive person that lives in the world. When I pull up a mental image of today's college sophomore, sometimes I actually picture those little monsters from the Lamisil commercial, running around screaming
How am I supposed to be prepared to devote another 4 years of my life studying how to improve the educational and social environment for a bunch of 20 year old terrorists who care about nothing? I don't see college students protesting or advocating for change. I don't see them having debates about politics. I don't see them really engaging in anything more significant than Britney Spears'** latest antics or who was on American Idol last night. They live in a world of fast-cutting, transitory elements, and I feel like they have very, very, very little in touch with reality. I see almost nothing of my college self in them anymore. Maybe after (barely) surviving 8 years of George W. Bush's America - an America he stole - I've become incurably cynical. I'm not sure if this is the case, but at any rate, I have serious doubts as to whether or not this population is worth investing anther 4 years of my life into. I don't know who to blame for them - parents? George Bush? Bill Clinton? The pop-music phenomena? TMZ? - but I do know that I have very serious reservations about what happens when they grow up to be in charge of the development of others.
Is this a person who really should be going for a Doctorate in educational administration and psychology - someone whose faith in the process is quickly waning? Maybe I should switch it up and go to Vet Tech school instead. Dogs and cats still have some humanity left in them. Now isn't that ironic?
** This front-page article in the latest issue of Rolling Stone titled "The Tragedy of Britney Spears" was something I found really interesting in relation to the phenomenon of today's societal values.
I know I'm good for it. It's not the work that intimidates me - academics have always come pretty easily to me. It's just the combination of the other issues that concern me. First off, it's a major commitment to several more years as a student, which I find a bit wearing. Second, finding a topic I care enough about to write an entire thesis on would be a challenge. Number three, however, is the big one. Often times, lately, I wonder if there's any point to the field of Higher Education and all of the work that we do as administrators. I've spent hours upon hours of the last 2 years of my life learning to be culturally competent, how to counsel and communicate effectively with students to teach them to, in turn, become culturally sensitive and competent people. But the more I interact with the average college student of 2008, the less I think we have an impact.
Today's college students are different than those I graduated with 5 years ago. The Millenial generation has given way to another breed of student that I'm not sure I can even comprehend, let alone foster growth in. The children of the late-cycle Baby Boomers are self-involved, self-important, and have zero social skills. Many of them don't understand the concepts of work ethic or compassion, respect or value. One might argue that, because everything they could possibly need is in their dorm rooms (fridge, plasma tv, high speed computer, cell phone, instant messenger, library interface) or can be delivered (pizza, laundry, and even online classes) they don't ever have to interact with another human being live-action. They view everything as negotiable. Americans like to pretend that college is about "getting a good education", but really, it's about "getting a good socialization". Teens might pick a school based on academics, but what they actually learn is how to be a productive person that lives in the world. When I pull up a mental image of today's college sophomore, sometimes I actually picture those little monsters from the Lamisil commercial, running around screaming
How am I supposed to be prepared to devote another 4 years of my life studying how to improve the educational and social environment for a bunch of 20 year old terrorists who care about nothing? I don't see college students protesting or advocating for change. I don't see them having debates about politics. I don't see them really engaging in anything more significant than Britney Spears'** latest antics or who was on American Idol last night. They live in a world of fast-cutting, transitory elements, and I feel like they have very, very, very little in touch with reality. I see almost nothing of my college self in them anymore. Maybe after (barely) surviving 8 years of George W. Bush's America - an America he stole - I've become incurably cynical. I'm not sure if this is the case, but at any rate, I have serious doubts as to whether or not this population is worth investing anther 4 years of my life into. I don't know who to blame for them - parents? George Bush? Bill Clinton? The pop-music phenomena? TMZ? - but I do know that I have very serious reservations about what happens when they grow up to be in charge of the development of others.
Is this a person who really should be going for a Doctorate in educational administration and psychology - someone whose faith in the process is quickly waning? Maybe I should switch it up and go to Vet Tech school instead. Dogs and cats still have some humanity left in them. Now isn't that ironic?
** This front-page article in the latest issue of Rolling Stone titled "The Tragedy of Britney Spears" was something I found really interesting in relation to the phenomenon of today's societal values.
February 27, 2008
Should I Call it the "WC" Instead?
I just realized that the email address of a coworker who I absolutely can not stand rhymes with the word "toilet". This discovery made my day marginally more amusing, especially since there's not much of a difference between sending an email to her and sending one right down the crapper.
If He Can Do It, Anyone Can!
While I'm at work, determining the fate of various transfer students, I often listen to online radio through my computer. I find it keeps me motivated and in a better mood, which is a good thing for the aforementioned potential future students. I have general guidelines for my preferred selection: it has to be background music, something rock-y but mellow, unoffensive volume-wise, and generally enjoyable. I tend to gravitate towards the Coffeehouse station on Yahoo Launch, which tends to play the Jack Johnson, Norah Jones, singer-songwriter types.
Yet there are certain artists, despite my attempt to tell Yahoo to never play again by clicking the "never play this again" box (and this is a major pet peeve of mine) that continue to resurface, despite my best intentions. Brett Dennen is one of those artists. This might sound harsh, but I really fucking hate Brett Dennen. Why do I hate him so much, you ask? Well, it all started with the fact that his voice sucks, and culminates with the fact that he pronounces the word "free" "fweee". 3-year olds speak that way. It's an "r" buddy - learn the damn alphabet! And I hate his hats. Plus, his lyrics are petulant, insipid and infuriating. Dear Yahoo Launch: please stop playing Brett Dennen. And Beth Orton. And Sarah McLaughlin. And Mo-Zella, whatever or whoever that might be. Oh and especially James Blunt. Jazon Mraz is fine. Thank You.
Yet there are certain artists, despite my attempt to tell Yahoo to never play again by clicking the "never play this again" box (and this is a major pet peeve of mine) that continue to resurface, despite my best intentions. Brett Dennen is one of those artists. This might sound harsh, but I really fucking hate Brett Dennen. Why do I hate him so much, you ask? Well, it all started with the fact that his voice sucks, and culminates with the fact that he pronounces the word "free" "fweee". 3-year olds speak that way. It's an "r" buddy - learn the damn alphabet! And I hate his hats. Plus, his lyrics are petulant, insipid and infuriating. Dear Yahoo Launch: please stop playing Brett Dennen. And Beth Orton. And Sarah McLaughlin. And Mo-Zella, whatever or whoever that might be. Oh and especially James Blunt. Jazon Mraz is fine. Thank You.
Parting Words to Mr. Anonymous
Duke, huh? Let me guess... with that kind of vocabulary... you're there on a lacrosse scholarship. Am I right? And for the record, you called me a "dyke" the first time you visited my blog, uninvited and unsolicited. I'd say you threw the first punch.
I won't be responding to you again.
I won't be responding to you again.
February 26, 2008
February Blues
I am ready for winter to be over.
I'm sick of slush. I'm sick of snow. I'm sick of feeling like my skin is so dry and tight it's going to peel right off. I'm sick of this hacking cough I've had for 3 weeks. I want to run outside again, finishing up as the sun sets, watching the world turn red and gold. I want to wake up in daylight, sit on my balcony drinking my first cup of coffee, watching the neighbors stroll by with their dogs. I want to leave the house with less than 3 layers of clothes on. I want to see leaves on the trees, vibrantly-colored flowers, music in the air and the smell of charcoal on the breeze. I want to wear skirts and flip-flops.
The one comforting thing about living in the Northeast is that, despite the desolate brown of winter... you know there's an end in sight. One day, probably in late March, I'll roll out of bed, and it will all be here. The birds, the leaves, the sunlight, the warmth. Life will return to my little corner of the world, and happiness will be restored. At the end of February, however, that moment often seems all too far away.
That being said... I don't think I could live in a place without seasons. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I'm fairly certain I wouldn't love summer half as much if I didn't have winter's misery to compare it to.
I'm sick of slush. I'm sick of snow. I'm sick of feeling like my skin is so dry and tight it's going to peel right off. I'm sick of this hacking cough I've had for 3 weeks. I want to run outside again, finishing up as the sun sets, watching the world turn red and gold. I want to wake up in daylight, sit on my balcony drinking my first cup of coffee, watching the neighbors stroll by with their dogs. I want to leave the house with less than 3 layers of clothes on. I want to see leaves on the trees, vibrantly-colored flowers, music in the air and the smell of charcoal on the breeze. I want to wear skirts and flip-flops.
The one comforting thing about living in the Northeast is that, despite the desolate brown of winter... you know there's an end in sight. One day, probably in late March, I'll roll out of bed, and it will all be here. The birds, the leaves, the sunlight, the warmth. Life will return to my little corner of the world, and happiness will be restored. At the end of February, however, that moment often seems all too far away.
That being said... I don't think I could live in a place without seasons. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and I'm fairly certain I wouldn't love summer half as much if I didn't have winter's misery to compare it to.
February 23, 2008
Life Lessons
This is why NCLB is a terrible thing:
"i was bored and i like reading. u should try it 2 better ur writing. u deleted my comments? y? thaz sad. u must really B a fat dyke if it bothered u that much."
How many problems can you find with this comment from someone who can't be bothered to spell out entire words? Shockingly, this gem of a human being (I use the term loosely) doesn't actually have his own blog. And at what point in our education system have we allowed text message and instant messenger shorthand to become an acceptable mode of formal communication? Good luck in junior college, kiddo - try not to fail English comp more than twice.
A few other things, douchebag (I was trying really hard to refrain from name calling, but a girl can only handle so many uses of the word "dyke" - at least switch it up and me a lesbian or queer or something): My picture is on the right of your screen, and my NAME is next to it. Maybe you should use your brain before you start spewing filth. At least "crayon dicked lard-ass" shows some creativity. But don't worry too much, honey - keep working hard at being a disgusting human being, and someday you'll be the manager of your very own Taco Bell!!
"i was bored and i like reading. u should try it 2 better ur writing. u deleted my comments? y? thaz sad. u must really B a fat dyke if it bothered u that much."
How many problems can you find with this comment from someone who can't be bothered to spell out entire words? Shockingly, this gem of a human being (I use the term loosely) doesn't actually have his own blog. And at what point in our education system have we allowed text message and instant messenger shorthand to become an acceptable mode of formal communication? Good luck in junior college, kiddo - try not to fail English comp more than twice.
A few other things, douchebag (I was trying really hard to refrain from name calling, but a girl can only handle so many uses of the word "dyke" - at least switch it up and me a lesbian or queer or something): My picture is on the right of your screen, and my NAME is next to it. Maybe you should use your brain before you start spewing filth. At least "crayon dicked lard-ass" shows some creativity. But don't worry too much, honey - keep working hard at being a disgusting human being, and someday you'll be the manager of your very own Taco Bell!!
February 22, 2008
She Really Is Evil!
Since my re-entrance to the blogsphere, I've had some catching up to do. I noticed this morning that Segue posted an entry on The Dayton Underground at the end of December and I swear, he must have been talking about my cat...
I've Been Called Worse
To the 'anonymous' moron who found it entertaining to make nasty comments on my blog yesterday because he clearly has nothing better to do (and good grief, how bored were you that you went that far back?):
Either go away, or try upping the level of discourse a bit. Considering the fact that intelligence seems to be of premium concern to you, calling people "fat dykes" (of which I am neither, but thanks for the effort) is a pretty neanderthal response, wouldn't you think? Go find someone else's blog to anoint with your pearls of infinite wisdom. Here, they will be deleted. Better yet, why don't you let me read your blog for a while?
Either go away, or try upping the level of discourse a bit. Considering the fact that intelligence seems to be of premium concern to you, calling people "fat dykes" (of which I am neither, but thanks for the effort) is a pretty neanderthal response, wouldn't you think? Go find someone else's blog to anoint with your pearls of infinite wisdom. Here, they will be deleted. Better yet, why don't you let me read your blog for a while?
February 21, 2008
An Open Letter
Dear Student,
If you can't say your name intelligibly on my voice mail - and I've listened to it 4 times in an effort to comprehend your message - I'm not calling you back. Realistically, what do you expect me to do? "Hi, this is Becky calling from the College. Someone with an inscrutable name from this number - I think it was this number, but I'm not sure, because that was kind of jumbled too - left me a voice mail, so I'm just going to talk to you, whoever you are that picks up the phone." No, I don't think so. With any luck, I'll get your 12 year old little sister who wants to tell me about her Barbie Playtime Palace. You have now wasted 3 minutes of my day that could have been productive. In fact, you wasted 10, because you aggravated me so much that I had to take approximately 7 minutes to blog about it. That is all.
Sincerely,
Your Devoted Registrar
If you can't say your name intelligibly on my voice mail - and I've listened to it 4 times in an effort to comprehend your message - I'm not calling you back. Realistically, what do you expect me to do? "Hi, this is Becky calling from the College. Someone with an inscrutable name from this number - I think it was this number, but I'm not sure, because that was kind of jumbled too - left me a voice mail, so I'm just going to talk to you, whoever you are that picks up the phone." No, I don't think so. With any luck, I'll get your 12 year old little sister who wants to tell me about her Barbie Playtime Palace. You have now wasted 3 minutes of my day that could have been productive. In fact, you wasted 10, because you aggravated me so much that I had to take approximately 7 minutes to blog about it. That is all.
Sincerely,
Your Devoted Registrar
They Have Pink Martinis On Them!
Full Disclosure: Sometimes in the winter, I like to sit in my office in my bare socks for as long as I can get away with it in the morning instead of putting on my big girl shoes. It's not like anyone sees me in my little hole. Or cares.
February 11, 2008
It's A Jungle Out There...
A cautionary tale of the pitfalls of online dating below...
Don't believe your mother - even Jewish guys can be creepy!
Don't believe your mother - even Jewish guys can be creepy!
February 09, 2008
Warning: Don't Try This At Home!
Do you suppose it says something about the society we live in when, a commercial showing a woman steam rolling over her old washing machine so she can buy a shiny new one, has to include a disclaimer at the bottom of the screen that states, "do not attempt"? Seriously - what? I guess it speaks to the same litigious obsession of Americans that forced McDonald's to put a disclaimer on their coffee that says, "caution: this beverage is extremely hot"... but still. This, to me, seems even MORE ridiculous. I mean... where am I even going to GET a giant slingshot machine or bulldozer to destroy my old washer, and even if I could... that girl in the commercial looks way hotter than I would doing it, anyway. I'd be grunting and sweating, and she's standing around filing her nails in a designer red dress. Plus, I don't even have enough quarters (at a buck 25 a load!) to do coin-operated laundry this weekend - I can't afford your fucking washing machine anyway. Don't you know we're heading into a recession, LG? How dare you! I'm gonna go back to selling my kidney on Ebay to afford my rent next month...
January 31, 2008
You Mean Vegetables Don't Always Come Out of a Can?
I'm on a new health and fitness kick. I'm bound and determined to get myself back in shape, feeling good and looking at least ALMOST as non-repulsive as I'd like to in a bikini by the time the weather warms up. In the past 6 months, I've been eating more organic foods, paying more attention to things like vitamins, whole grains, fiber and all that stuff... and I've managed to stumble on a few resources to help me out. While I can't credit all of this motivation purely to my own higher level of consciousness, I've found that knowing and sharing is half the battle. If you have even a passing interest in any of this information, here are a few links that I've found particularly helpful in my new resolve:
The Daily Plate - Here you can basically keep your own food and exercise journal online, see where you're going and where you've been.
Eat Better America - Lots of recipes, fitness, health and diet information.
Grist - Environmental news, humor, resources and information. You can discover how to live, eat and even vote more Green.
Cranky Fitness - A Blogger with a refreshingly sarcastic approach.
Whether you look at this an laugh or take a peek... at least I'm doing my part to pass on the good mojo. May it inspire you as well if you happen to be looking for inspiration.
The Daily Plate - Here you can basically keep your own food and exercise journal online, see where you're going and where you've been.
Eat Better America - Lots of recipes, fitness, health and diet information.
Grist - Environmental news, humor, resources and information. You can discover how to live, eat and even vote more Green.
Cranky Fitness - A Blogger with a refreshingly sarcastic approach.
Whether you look at this an laugh or take a peek... at least I'm doing my part to pass on the good mojo. May it inspire you as well if you happen to be looking for inspiration.
January 11, 2008
Have Your Cake... And Sweat It Out Too!
Birthday Observation: It takes a lot longer to burn off cake and ice cream than it does to eat it.
January 08, 2008
Dear John
Dear Grossly Under-Qualified Transfer Student,
I understand that you're confused - transferring to the particular institution that I work for is a complicated process. Transferring to any institution is usually a bit of a process. I'm doing my best to change that, and one day when I rule the world, it will be easy as pie. Today, however, is not that day. I also understand that your confusion isn't entirely my fault. According to the essays, transcripts, grade reports, and letters that make up your application packet, you're a bit of a moron. If I were in charge, you most likely wouldn't have been accepted to the rigorous program you've chosen, let alone a 4-year college of any kind... but the institution I work for is tuition-driven, and sometimes that's reflected in the caliber of student we continue to bring in the week before classes start. It's also reflected in the quality of student that decides to apply the week before classes start. In my experience, the future neurosurgeons aren't the ones applying on January 8th when classes start the 12th. Because of all of these things, I'm begging you to stop asking me the same questions over and over again. I can explain procedures, policies and requirements until I'm blue in the face... you simply lack the brain capacity to comprehend the content of the response. It would really save both of us quite a bit of time and frustration if you just... stopped talking.
Thank You,
The Blogger
I understand that you're confused - transferring to the particular institution that I work for is a complicated process. Transferring to any institution is usually a bit of a process. I'm doing my best to change that, and one day when I rule the world, it will be easy as pie. Today, however, is not that day. I also understand that your confusion isn't entirely my fault. According to the essays, transcripts, grade reports, and letters that make up your application packet, you're a bit of a moron. If I were in charge, you most likely wouldn't have been accepted to the rigorous program you've chosen, let alone a 4-year college of any kind... but the institution I work for is tuition-driven, and sometimes that's reflected in the caliber of student we continue to bring in the week before classes start. It's also reflected in the quality of student that decides to apply the week before classes start. In my experience, the future neurosurgeons aren't the ones applying on January 8th when classes start the 12th. Because of all of these things, I'm begging you to stop asking me the same questions over and over again. I can explain procedures, policies and requirements until I'm blue in the face... you simply lack the brain capacity to comprehend the content of the response. It would really save both of us quite a bit of time and frustration if you just... stopped talking.
Thank You,
The Blogger
January 07, 2008
Black Hole Sun
In my city, there's a bar. It's a bar that any and all of the local regulars know well - so well, in fact, that it has at least half a dozen nicknames, so recognizable that a passing stranger on the sidewalk would know where you were headed if you happened to mention any of them. Everyone you meet, either native or transplanted to this city, knows this particular watering hole, and everyone has a story to go along with it. These stories usually involve some degree of nudity, projectile vomit, sexual indiscretion, extreme overindulgence, minor or major physical damage, complete blackout, or a volatile combination of the above. A local musician actually made headlines not long ago after being hit by a car crossing the street in front of this magical mystery land, thankfully "only" breaking a leg (you'd think at this point, motorists would avoid driving anywhere nearby Thursday through Sunday). Because of this startling similarity among patrons, I've come to think of it not as a bar, but as The Black Hole of afterhour activities. I now almost exclusively refer to it as The Black Hole.
I'm guessing every city, town, and oasis has just such a place. What makes this particular bar, unlike dozens and dozens of others, the one with the reputation? What is it about this place that makes it such a powder keg of sin? Is it the location? The lighting? The pool table and dartboard? The back alley, perfect for sneaking a drag on a cigarette, hidden from the eyes of a disapproving lover, brother, or friend? Do the surly bartenders, crappy jukebox, or never ending supply of popcorn make a difference? Is it just dark enough, just loud enough, just warm enough that the urge to misbehave or cross the line flows without hesitance? Or is it just that it's a tantalizing short cab ride and no-cover charge away from oblivion?
I'm guessing every city, town, and oasis has just such a place. What makes this particular bar, unlike dozens and dozens of others, the one with the reputation? What is it about this place that makes it such a powder keg of sin? Is it the location? The lighting? The pool table and dartboard? The back alley, perfect for sneaking a drag on a cigarette, hidden from the eyes of a disapproving lover, brother, or friend? Do the surly bartenders, crappy jukebox, or never ending supply of popcorn make a difference? Is it just dark enough, just loud enough, just warm enough that the urge to misbehave or cross the line flows without hesitance? Or is it just that it's a tantalizing short cab ride and no-cover charge away from oblivion?
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